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by Bobby McCarthy
Copyright (c), 2003, My Daily Driver -- All Rights Reserved 
"Highway Hypnosis". I can still hear that fateful phrase as clearly today as when it was first
spoken to me. "Highway Hypnosis". I have been waiting for this dreaded impairment to strike me down as
I drive along the highway. "Highway Hypnosis". This calamity can befall any driver at any time. I was
enlightened about this during "Drivers Education Class". Now I tip my Dale Earnhardt cap to you folks who were raised in urban environments. I am sure that you had many opportunities to drive a stolen car before you were sixteen. On the other hand, where I grew up, everyone was driving before the age of thirteen. We are not referencing sitting on Daddy's lap and slipping the hydr-o-matic into reverse and backing the Buick down the driveway. I am talking about blasting unsafe, unregistered vehicles across fallow fields of terra firma and ascending the steep bituminous climbs of the Appalachians. These vehicles were normally reserved for the transport of feed or pulling stumps. This is how I learned to drive. Well, when I turned sixteen, my High School offered a "Drivers Education Class". As an incentive, a nominal Insurance Discount was the enticement to enroll. Considering that any "discount" would make my already financially "strapped" father delighted, I signed up. However, there was one drawback. It was VERY un-cool to be in "Drivers Education Class". Any self-respecting, hot-rod driving teen-age hellion would not be caught dead in the "Class". The timid and the faint of heart surrounded you. Un-cool. The only bright spot was the teacher, Mr. Glass. Not only was he passionate about the "Rules of the Road", he obviously had the type of name that begged for a nickname. Mr. Ass, I mean Mr. Glass Ass, I mean Mr. Glass placed the fear of "Highway Hypnosis" deep within my psyche. What is "Highway Hypnosis?" I am glad you asked. This occurs when you are lulled into a semi-hypnotic state brought on by staring straight ahead while driving. Before you realize that you are in a sleep walking state, you are careening into a ravine, on fire. Shudder.  He had one cure and one cure only for avoiding such a tragic demise. Mr. Glass would thunder, "Windshield, rearview mirror, side mirror then windshield." A clockwise movement of the eyes to insure your ability to remain alert. "Never allow your focus to remain in one place for than 10 seconds." Not an easy feat during a long drive. I would practice this technique and find that I became dizzy. It was a tough choice between feeling nauseated and succumbing to "Highway Hypnosis". With this in mind, I altered the clockwise movement to, windshield, radio, side mirror, girlfriend, windshield, girlfriend, radio then girlfriend. Whether or not Mr. Glass would have approved this customized method is irrelevant. I survived my teen years without once lapsing into "Highway Hypnosis". As the years inevitably passed, I came to appreciate Mr. Glass's cure. The "10 second" rule is a little tough to swallow, but I do keep my eyes moving and I have only suffered a few minor altercations with my fellow vehicles. So next time your are driving down a dark lonely road, remember Mr. Glass's rule, "windshield, rearview mirror, side mirror then windshield". This has been a public service announcement from My Daily Driver.com.  page loaded in 0.062 seconds
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